I like your brain.

sophianotsofia:

Confession: My suitemate Lauren is addicted to oatmeal.  It doesn’t matter if it’s stovetop oatmeal, instant oatmeal, or oatmeal squares; if it’s a byproduct of oatmeal she won’t hesitate to grab her dirty spoon, water boiler, and other drug paraphernalia to reach that fiber high.  Living with an addict is exhausting, and it’s absolutely devastating to watch the monkey on her back affect her cognitive abilities, as  Lauren now mistakes every meal for breakfast.  Her toxic romance with the sinister-looking Quaker is even more disturbing to watch.  Every Saturday night he supplies Lauren with lines of dried oats, only to then steal her rouge and leave her passed out, face down in a pool of her own instant cinnamon sugar filth.

How do my friends and I attempt to intervene?  By way of the medical meme, of course.  This meme is our first attempt to resurrect the girl we once knew and loved from the pitfalls of this puritanical porridge.  Considering how I just felt the crackle of oats beneath my boot as I stepped in the room, the road to recovery will be long and arduous, but undoubtedly rich in fiber.

I laughed out loud multiple times whilst reading this narrative.